


Almost-Dead Women Tell No Tales

by RedMageCole



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate universe where Fukawa and Komaru are friends pre-despair, Based on a (almost) True Story, Gen, One Shot, Warning for a little bit of bodily fluid mentions but nothing extreme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedMageCole/pseuds/RedMageCole
Summary: Komaru, despite basically everyone's suggestions to not attempt it, attempts a Hot Wing Challenge.





	Almost-Dead Women Tell No Tales

**Author's Note:**

> Art trade commission for http://hopefragment.tumblr.com!
> 
> Commission info can be found here:  
> http://nohriantrusts.tumblr.com/post/175276884388/opening-writing-commissions

Not all heroes wore capes.

Not all heroes did what was right for the world.

Sometimes, what heroes did was what was right for themselves, and no one else.

A brave heroine, one with an unlikely companion, stood in front of the gates to a towering world, where she would face her greatest challenge yet; _pain. _Some things in life were worse than death, and pain was one of them. Pure, unadulterated pain that would cause even the strongest of heroes to weep like babies on the cold, hard ground as reality hit them that they were not dying, but in pain. Sometimes, however, that pain would have to be faced. No matter who you were, whether you were a hero or villain, you have to-__

__“Can you stop monologuing a-and get in the stupid restaurant!? Y-You’re giving me a goddamn headache!”_ _

__Cold, hard reality hit the self-proclaimed heroine as she had said, when she remembered she was monologuing to stall time. Komaru Naegi, along with her best friend, Touko Fukawa, had signed up to take on a most dreadful challenge; a challenge that involved-_ _

__“I didn’t sign up for shit! A-And you’re doing it again!”_ _

__“Okay, okay! I’ll stop doing it, then!”_ _

__Komaru had one day, decided that she was going to take on the world and sign up for a challenge at a recently-reopened restaurant that involved eating five hot wings. These were not ordinary hot wings; these were hot wings coated in ghost pepper sauce. They were not for the faint-hearted. They were not for the weak. And that is why Komaru decided that she was going to prove to the world that she was not weak._ _

__“This is about that time I-I called you weak when you cried when we w-watched Beauty and the Beast last week, isn’t it!?”_ _

__“N-No! And I didn’t cry!”_ _

__“Yeah!? _‘Oh, no! It’s too late! The rose is gone and all the furniture friends are dead, boo hoo!’_ D-Don’t you remember the goddamn book!? At least the b-book was better than that shitty live action remake of a shitty a-animation!”_ _

__“Hey! It wasn’t poopy! And Touko-chan, you know nobody reads the book versions of Disney, they-“_ _

__“Y-You’re wasting time again! GET IN THE DAMN RESTAURANT!”_ _

__Upon Fukawa’s screeching, Komaru immediately darted into the restaurant as to avoid her ceaseless wrath, though Fukawa shortly moved in afterwards. The two were greeted with a restaurant that looked nice, yet was empty. At the counter was a short man who was kind of plump and round, and at a seat was... Hagakure? Crying?_ _

__“Oiiii! Hagakure-san! What’s wrong!?”_ _

__Hagakure sniffled before turning his head up at Komaru._ _

__“I... I just lost a ton of money because I needed to get in here, because Hanamura-chi was a bit too upset that he got in between me and...!...Now I’m trying to decide... what kind of burger I wanna get!”_ _

__Burger?_ _

__“And you better be glad you had the price to pay for reparations, you idiot!”_ _

__Komaru then noticed the plump, round man point at Hagakure quite angrily. She wasn’t quite sure what was going on between the two, but she shrugged and headed over. Fukawa could have cared less about the whole ordeal._ _

__“Oh, customers! Two... sightly customers, eh- wait... how old are you?”_ _

__Hanamura leaned over and looked at a rather confused Komaru._ _

__“...U-uh... n-never mind, then! So, what can I get you both...?”_ _

__Komaru jumped up and slammed her hand down on the counter quite violently. She winced in pain; a bit too hard, apparently._ _

__“O-ow... uh... r-right! I’d like to do your Hot Wings Challenge, please!”_ _

__Hanamura raised an eyebrow._ _

__“Er... yes... you’re not eighteen though, right?”_ _

__Komaru looked even more confused._ _

__“Eighteen? Does that have something to do with it?”_ _

__“Yes! You gotta sign a waiver! Have you no idea of the Ghost Pepper’s agonizing pain!?”_ _

__There was a dramatic pause. Komaru started to weep. Fukawa groaned._ _

__“So you can’t kill yourself; b-big deal! Come on, you dunderhead, we-we’re getting out of this dump-“_ _

__“But Touko-chaaaan, I wanna do the challeeengeeee!”_ _

__Komaru looked at Fukawa quite expectantly with her teary eyes. Fukawa looked at her and groaned._ _

__“First off; I’m 17, not 18! S-Second, I’m not signing some stupid waiver for you to go a-a-and kill yourself! You’d have to be some complete g-goddamn idiot to want to use the f-fact that you’re 18 -“_ _

__“Ooh! I’m 18! Or higher than that! I can sign the thing for ya, Komaru-chi!”_ _

__Fukawa glared so hard at Hagakure that if looks could kill, Hagakure would have been killed so hard that every version of himself in the multiverse would be dead. Komaru, however, looked elated._ _

__“Yaay! Thanks, Hagakure-san!”_ _

__Hagakure came up and put a hand out towards Hanamura. Hanamura groaned and gave him the paper, and Hagakure signed it with ‘Yasuhiro Hagakure’ in surprisingly neat handwriting that made Fukawa gasp, and within minutes, the hot wings were prepared._ _

__

__**First Hot Wing** _ _

__Komaru downed the first hot wing with a little bit of coughing._ _

__“W-wow, that’s hot... b-but it’s nothing...!”_ _

__Fukawa looked appalled. Hagakure looked excited. Hanamura looked like this was gonna result in the destruction of his restaurant somehow._ _

__“Komaru-chi’s got this! She’s not even-“_ _

__**”KYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!”** _ _

__Almost immediately, Komaru started screaming, crying, and flailing all at once, while mucus dripped from her nose and hot sauce spread all over her lips. But she knew she had to keep going._ _

__“No, you idiot! At least have a goddamn glass of milk or something, you big baby!”_ _

__Hanamura shook his head._ _

__“Nope! The challenge requires that you do not eat or drink anything else after eating the hot wings for ten minutes!”_ _

__“TEN MINUTES!? What are you, s-some goddamn kind of serial killer!?”_ _

__An awkward pause, only pierced by Komaru’s screams of pain._ _

__

__**Second Hot Wing** _ _

__“GLR-GLRGH...AHHHHH- **AAHHHGGGHHHHHH!!!** ”_ _

__Komaru frantically downed her second hot wing as she started banging on the table in fury._ _

__“J-JUST THREE MOR- **AHHHGHHHH!!!** ”_ _

__Komaru was screaming so hard, that Fukawa had to desperately cover her ears. Hagakure did not, and Hanamura had earmuffs specifically planned for this._ _

__“Wh-Why did you do this, Komaru!? Wh-Why!? Didn’t you know b-better!?”_ _

__“I-I GOT THIS FUKAWA-CHAN, TOUKO-SAN, I-I GOT THIIISSS OH GOOOOSH IT HUUURTSSSS!!!”_ _

__

__**Third Hot Wing** _ _

___”Oh my god! Komaru!?”_ _ _

__Just as Komaru finished her third hot wing and started her third fit of screams, Naegi walked in on what was possibly the worst timing possible._ _

__“Hey, Naegi-chi! Your sister’s doing the stuff of legends!”_ _

__Naegi was not having any of this; he immediately went to the water fountain, grabbing a large cup of water and headed for the table, when suddenly Hanamura stopped him._ _

__“No! She signed- well, Hagakure signed a waiver, and you gotta pay for-“_ _

__“Hagakure-kun did WHAT!?”_ _

__Naegi was now giving Hagakure a similar glare as Fukawa, but with much less intensity as Naegi exerts much less of a threatening aura than Fukawa. Hagakure just shrugged, as Komaru started shrieking some more. Naegi tried to push Hanamura out of the way, but... it was too late, for..._ _

__

__**Fourth and Fifth Hot Wing** _ _

__Komaru had downed the last two hot wings, having noticed her brother had entered the vicinity. She opened her mouth..._ _

__**”I’M SORRY BIG BROOOOOOOOO!!! AHHHGHHHHHHH!!!”** _ _

__She immediately fell off of the booth seat she was in, causing Fukawa to screech and Naegi to break past Hanamura to check on Komaru as she started squirming on the floor. All she could do anymore was scream as the rest of her body was consumed by an eternal, undying flame. Scream, as well as cry. Her face was an immense mess of hot sauce, tears and mucus as she clawed at the ground, looking at the giant cup of water Naegi had. Naegi was this close to forcing it into her mouth, but..._ _

__“NOOO!! BRO, DON’T... I GOTTA- AGHH!! I GOTTA DO THIS!”_ _

__Fukawa stepped in. Even she was getting a little upset at what was going on._ _

__“That’s enough! Komaru, just drink the damn water! Drink it, damn it! Do something! This is ridiculous!”_ _

__Hagakure was no help, as usual._ _

__“Komaru-chi’s totally get this! In fact, I just got a reading from my crystal ball! She’s gonna succeed!”_ _

__Fukawa’s scream managed to intermingle with Komaru’s scream._ _

__**”THAT’S A HUGE CHANCE OF HER NOT SUCCEEDING, YOU GODDAMN _POPTART FOR BRAINS!”_** _ _

__But as Fukawa and Komaru screamed, there was the light noise of a buzzer. Hanamura popped in._ _

__“Time’s up! Yasuhiro Hagak- err... Komaru has completed the hot wings challenge!”_ _

__Komaru screamed once more, but this time, it was not a scream of pain, but a scream of joy as she leapt from the ground and snatched the water from Naegi’s hands and started downing it. Immediately, the rest of them scrambled to get more liquids. Naegi got more water, Fukawa got milk, Hagakure got vodka._ _

__“Hey! It’d freshen her right up! I know it’d freshen me up, eh? Don’t worry, I won’t tell her parents if you guys don’t!”_ _

__One attempt on Hagakure’s life later from Fukawa, as well as a few trips to the bathroom for Komaru’s stomach to reject the burning death, and many, many non-alcoholic drinks later, Komaru was right as rain, as she weakly held up a thumbs up._ _

__“I-...I did it... Touko-chan... Big bro... I did it...”_ _

__Komaru collapsed into the seat, Naegi still panicing as Fukawa grabbed Komaru’s collar._ _

__“I-I told you this challenge was a load of shit! Wh-wh-why’d you have to go and do it!?”_ _

__Weakly, Komaru blinked and looked up at Fukawa._ _

__“E-...Everything smells like hot tamales, Touko-chan... H-help me... I’m dying...”_ _

__Fukawa rolled her eyes and let go._ _

__“You’re not dying, I was stretching the truth, dumbass!... Speaking of dumbass, what are you doing!?”_ _

__Hagakure was back at the counter, looking over._ _

__“Oh, yeah! I was gonna try that challenge for myself! Wish me luck!”_ _

__Fukawa paused... then smirked... now _that_ was something she’d like to see._ _


End file.
